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Several times it’s come up that I propose an outing or activity and they come up with something cheaper.
Is it rude for me to insist for things like going out to a restaurant for brunch if they want to stay in and make food?
A: Not as long as you make it clear you’re offering to treat your friends to these nicer outings.
If you’re not offering, then yes, it’s rude and unfair for you to ask them to “spend a little money,” especially when your idea of “little” is their idea of “gas money for the rest of the month.” If you want to go to a fancy restaurant once in a while, that’s fine; take your equally financially comfortable fiancée, or one of your highly paid co-workers, or offer to pick up the check for your friends who are trying to get by on college-student funds.
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Whether or not you think your friends are overreacting, I’m curious: Did you try to apologize as you were being asked to leave the party?
You don’t mention having done so, and if you still haven’t, there’s no time like the present.